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May 2, 2003

NOTE: data from March intro

This Salon is the first of a series of seven Salons that investigates the ways we sabotage the unfolding process of spiritual awakening. I decided on this topic while enduring - and I mean enduring - the recent Denver snow storm. I went to Denver last Monday to record a tape series for Sounds True with Clarissa Pinkola' Estes on women's intuition and mystical experiences. While de-boarding the plane, I overheard chatter about the incoming storm. Estimates of three to five to eight feet were given, and no matter how much I insisted they use the word "inch" instead of "feet", it appeared we were about to get blasted. The sky did look ominous and I commented to Tami Simon, the founder of Sounds True, that this situation looked like serious trouble, adding that I HAD to get back to Chicago Tuesday after we finished recording. She assured me that in all her twenty years of living in Boulder, the Denver airport never shut down. "They have the equipment for snow. This is Colorado".. Uh-ha.

Caroline has asked... This topic is so important to Caroline that the entire Myss newsletter group is to get a free April Salon! Hope you enjoy!

April Salon 2003

THE INABILITY TO EMPOWER OTHERS - Part I

Continuing with the second article in our seven-part exploration of why we sabotage our empowerment, in this issue of the Salon (late though it may be -- but I always come through) I’ll be exploring why the challenge to empower others is so vital to our own empowerment and why we find it such a difficult task. Please note that while I obviously have to present the seven reasons in seven articles, I am making no attempt to present them based on degree of difficulty. Each is a force to reckon with in our lives, and the intensity of each challenge is relative to your own life.

A SMALL REVIEW

Just to get us all on the same page, I have discussed in numerous articles, lectures, and workshops the paradoxical relationship each of us has with the task of self-empowerment. We are as attracted to becoming an integrated, whole, and well-functioning individual as we are intimidated by the prospect. This paradox and all of its manifestations in our life is one way to describe the source of human suffering. For although we speculate and strive to articulate a thousand and one reasons for the meaning and purpose of life, many of us draw the same conclusions regardless of the spiritual tradition. Of course, we can never know the "mind" of God (as if God had a "mind" in the first place . . . I mean come on here. Although it makes for an interesting discussion, no? For instance….IF God has a "mind", what does "He" think about and does "He" have, you know, stress and tension headaches? I would if I were "Him,” given the bizarre prayers and peculiar rituals people enact in order to sway or change "His” mind. Now here's a bit of advertising that would work: Divine Aspirin: Cures Even Cosmic Headaches. NOTE: useless for atheists. And that's the last time I'll carry on. I'll be serious now.)

In as much as we can never know the "mind" of God, the best we can do is draw conclusions that are universally shared by other traditions -- for example, "All is one" and “To help others as they truly need to be helped" serves you and all humanity. The reverse of which is "As you judge others, so will you be judged.” Again and again, the path of intrigue created by this issue leads to the revelation that the full empowerment of the soul is achieved through alignment to the laws of the universe (represented in the Tree of Life, the Ten Commandments, the Noble Eightfold Path of Buddhism, the Five Pillars of Islam, and the opening of the wisdom of the chakras) accompanied by an act of complete surrender to the Divine.

We are born with this knowledge; it is the living tissue of the soul itself. This knowledge reveals itself to us daily, in every thought we have and in every decision we make and in every action we initiate. We cannot turn off the voice of the soul. We can't even repress it, quite frankly, because we recognize conflict. We may deny the source of our pain, but we cannot deny when we are in a moral, ethical, spiritual, or emotional conflict. And always, when you shave away the particulars and the self-defense mechanisms, the source of suffering comes down to proceeding with what you must to do to maintain awareness.

Why is it essential for us empower others, in particular those we dislike or resent? It is essential precisely because in order to engage is genuine acts that empower others we must be able to honor all people in our hearts, recognizing their spiritual potential regardless of exterior circumstances. Acts of empowerment take many forms, as I will discuss, but no matter the particular action involved, we must willingly practice the universal law that teaches, "To empower others is the true way to empower the self and all humanity.” To truly participate in actions of deep spiritual empowerment of others, we have to ascend to a level of consciousness in which we are not motivated by discipline or personal gain, but by a genuine understanding of the profound power of transformation of all life that is contained in this law. Achieving this interior space is where our own experiences come in to play, because within the everyday activities of ordinary life we discover our own shadow and our fear, not just of our own empowerment, but of the spiritual empowerment of others. This is the way we confront our jealousy of another's enlightenment or healing abilities, talents, or opportunities. We need to confront our LACK of belief in this law in order to transform that into a true practice of our hearts. And it ain't easy . . . which is why it is necessary. To empower someone we are jealous of or competing with -- particularly when we know they are more qualified to do a certain job or handle a particular situation than we are -- brings out the shadow we must encounter within ourselves. And encountering our shadows is the way we become conscious of our motivations in life, and in turn, heal our own issues with self-esteem. Tough work. Shedding some light on the nature of service provides some rich insights into the task at hand.

THE NATURE OF SERVICE

To be of service to others is human nature. We are caregivers, and the instinct to help is built into our design. However, in learning to be of service in the deeper spiritual context, we discover the core of the challenge that arises when we truly empower others.

Service has many manifestations, but it can essentially be divided into two categories: ego service and spiritual service. Everyone begins her or his life education in the nature of service at the ego level. Since few of us are born enlightened, we begin with the instinctual motivation to be of service and evolve to a conscious understanding of what actions are required on our part to empower the "other" rather than ourselves. (Contained within cosmic laws is the energy of grace, which animates what we call higher motivation. When a universal law emerges in our psyche during a decision-making moment, it comes as a messenger of grace as well as psychic motivation. In contrast, traffic laws on the highway are not "grace-filled." They are order-keepers of the mundane world that lack the animation of grace. However, an intuitive “hit” to slow down for no conscious reason, which then turns out to be a life-saving act because another car was out of control, is an act of grace operating in the mundane world.)

Ego service is like a course in Self-Esteem 101. As we learn the art of true spiritual service, we pass through experiences that enlighten us about the shadow reasons behind our acts of service. These experiences ultimately lead us -- either through wisdom or woe -- to become genuine channels of service to humanity. In the process, we first engage with the ego and move into the power of spiritual service. It is easy, especially in our culture, to see the ego as the "bad guy" and the soul as the "good guy,” but that thinking is a product of damaged Western religious thought. The ego is a life battery, a source of pride, integrity, the self. It should not always be associated, as it so often is, with egocentric or narcissistic behavior. That is certainly a shadow aspect of ego-based motivations, and clearly filters into a person's choice of paths of service, but that type of judgment comes from theological traditions in which the ego-self was seen as the source of all evil. All of us encounter our shadow ego as

we come to understand service in a more revealing way -- that's just how life is designed.

Most jobs or tasks in the general arena of life can be considered forms of service. Whether we are waiting on tables, delivering groceries, cutting someone's lawn, pumping gas, driving a bus, or selling merchandise, we are engaging in acts of service. Even prison guards are providing a service, difficult as it may be to wrap your mind around that example. It takes an effort to think of some role in life that is not a form of service. Even the most self-serving person is benefiting someone, somewhere. My point is, life is service and service is life.

Service evolves through stages that each of us can relate to, because we are meant to experience every one. That is a part of the cosmic plan that is built into the fabric of each of our Sacred Contracts. It's good to know that, yes? These stages of "service" evolution are lined up in more or less the following order (although you can experience various levels of service simultaneously, so don't get too linear about this.)

serving without any choice, as in taking care of siblings while growing up because your parents cannot do all the care-taking;
doing jobs that are forms of service motivated by survival;.
doing work or forms of service that you know are helping others but do not satisfy your own sense of higher potential. It is during this stage that passions from your higher potential come to haunt you at night -- like high anxiety attacks mixed with some depressions, making you feel that your life is boring, awful, dreadful, unfulfilled. If this is what you're feeling . . . keep reading.
forms of service that are the result of conscious choice -- still ego-based conscious choice, but conscious nonetheless. This stage and the next are characteristic of people who work in the healing arts or other fields recognized as "service professions.” These require more attention than the previous three forms of service.
I am emphasizing the healing arts because so many of you are involved in healing professions of one form or another. The motivation to engage in the healing arts is usually a combination of wanting to be of service and a strong enough sense of self to allow you to recognize inherent healing abilities. Recognition of one's own abilities along with the courage to do something about those talents is extremely significant, because it indicates an evolution in self-empowerment. Rather than accepting a disappointing life, you are willing to take the risk to create a new life. Here's the archetypal pattern inherent in this stage. First, an adrenaline rush kicks in when you finally decide that you have the "power" to go after your "power.” That fuel gives you the stamina to work all day and go to school all night. You begin to envision what forms your healing service might take -- should you open a clinic, for instance, or should you work alone, or continue with learning more, and so on.
Second is the actual practice of your healing arts. This is where you encounter the need to be of service coupled with the need to be recognized for your healing service -- to be identified as the Healer archetype, or as is more popular in New Age culture, the Wounded Healer archetype (the philosophy of "I can heal because I have the same wound"). It is the struggle with "recognition" that is the challenge. I've seen this clever struggle manifest in complaints about being "burned out"; in stress complaints about how worried the "healer" is about her clients; or in the "It's not me, I'm just the vessel" commentary. All of these conditions, and there are others as well, can be manifestations of the shadow ego in operation. Consider, for example, the origin of "burn-out.” In most cases of healer burn-out that I have encountered, the healer is someone who cares in absolutely the wrong way about her or his clients. The caring energy is too intimate, too personal, too responsible for the outcome of the client. And for the healer, this quality of sympathy, or empathy, or compassion represents service. To not be this aligned to a client's pain is to come across as uncaring, cold, even careless. Thus, the healer identifying with the client ceases to have the boundaries essential for clear and healthy work. Sharing a client's pain as a form or an indication of healing service is an error of the highest order, both for the healer and for the client, for who is served by weakness?

Another shadow side of the "service as a healer" role is the need to be recognized for having the "gift" of healing. The need to be respected for one's work is essential; the need to be recognized as having "gifts" is contrary to mystical practice and to the management of true gifts of power. When someone tells me they have a "gift,” I often think, "And what is it you want me to say about that?" The craving of the ego for "gift notoriety" brings shadow into the art of service because one's motivation to help others is tainted by private agendas. I am sure many of you have experienced this type of healer . . . or could you be one yourself? Remember that everyone goes through some form of this ego stage, so don't take the example too personally. Inevitably the healer in this role will end up frustrated because she will discover that no amount of attention is enough, and further, will have hot flashes over the attention other healers receive, especially those more talented. POINT BEING: Spiritual service is something we are called to do. Ego service is the art of healing the self as much as healing the other, yes?

Finally, the fifth stage is Service to the Self, which represents a shift in ego, making room for spiritual service. People in their fifties and older (although an ego shift can occur at any time) often come to an awakening of sorts through which they realize that they are missing what they consider to be the important things in life, however they define important. For some, it's the quality of life or of relationships. And for others, it is the need to finally follow their passion, which can be anything from a lifestyle change to a change in careers or living situation. This is the stage at which people turn inward and discover themselves, and become comfortable with their inner life, not as a result of crisis but of a change of values. The teaching that you must love yourself before you can truly love others is something that you can’t really understand until you feel the craving to take care of essential needs that are impossible to attend to while you are consumed by the demands of the first three stages.

Mind you, at this stage of service you truly get saturated in your soul's calling and how threatening that often is to others, as I will discuss in depth in the next Salon.

During these five stages, one moves from being assigned earth service out of necessity, to being able to make decisions about how to serve, to finally recognizing the necessity that serving the self opens the way to a deeper encounter with spiritual service. Actions are the measure of service in these ego stages, as service is measured by what we physically do for others or by how much we can influence the quality of their lives -- and, as I have noted, in both shadow and light forms. Spiritual service takes a different form, revealing what true empowerment of another means. It is when you are standing between these two planes of ego service and true spiritual service that you learn the meaning of spiritual service by encountering how relentlessly difficult it is to empower the spirits of others. It is, after all, almost effortless to help a person's stress-filled body feel better, but to empower the spirit of a person is to provide fuel for their journey of transformation. That's a different matter entirely.

Helping someone with pain relief does not have the same impact on a person as serving him by forgiving him so that his burden of guilt can be released. Oh no, these two are not in the same league. Makes giving someone a foot rub look like a day at the beach, no????

We encounter the inability to empower others when assisting someone in forms of service that enable them to transform their own interior sense of power. This is certainly most evident in situations where there is personal involvement. And this is the subject that we will investigate in Part II, May's Salon.

In the meantime, I hope this Salon has stirred your thoughts a bit and perhaps helped you to understand a little more about the nature of service from the point of view of the ego. In the May Salon, we will also explore the essential tests of the ego that it must encounter as we move from ego-motivated service to service to the self to surrendering to service to the Divine.

Oh, and I promise not to wait until the last day of the month to get the Salon out. Believe it or not, I thought April had 31 days.

Love,
Caroline

To register for the Salon

Checklist of Health Issues and Illness The purpose of the CHII is to allow you a fast and easy way to identify your own personal blocks and to allow you to work on removing these blocks should you care to do so. You will receive an individual profile that shows your score for each chakra as well as for three themes: vitality, relationships, and spirituality. You will be given specific ways to address issues for each chakra.

Personal Nutrition Provider The purpose of the PNP is to allow you a fast and easy way to identify your personal chemistry. You will receive an individual profile that shows you your score for each area and then a food plan with selected foods that support your well being on all levels: physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual. We sampled over 500 adults in the United States, both people who are familiar with Susan's work and people who know nothing about it. We will continue to work on researching the PNP based upon the information we receive from this web site. Your individual responses will, of course, be totally confidential and held in strictest confidence as with a counselor or doctor.

NEW** The Call To Live A Symbolic Life Primary using the archetypes of the healer, the mystic and the lover, Caroline myss will introduce to you the power of Symbolic sight, a new language of spiritual interpretation, to help you become fluent in understanding yourself and your life's mission. (Recorded live in Philadelphia, PA January 2003)

The Call to Live A Symbolic Life CD`S

We are happy to announce the addition of the new feature Coupon Specials to our On-line Store. We will be sending out new featured coupon specials periodically to you, our valued customers.

Coupon Code: Spring 2003-1

Receive Caroline Myss's "Why People Don't Heal and How They Can" Hardcover Edition FREE with your any purchase of $75.

Coupon Code: Spring 2003-2

Receive Caroline Myss's "Your Primal Nature" FREE with any purchase of $50.

These first two coupons will be valid until May 30, 2003. We hope you are able to take advantage of these great spring savings!

CMED INSTITUTE

March 29-30, 185 people took part in the inaugural workshop of the CMED Institute held in the Chicago area. Judging from individual responses over the course of the weekend, it was a profoundly rewarding experience for all involved. Workshops ran from nine in the morning until after 10 P.M. Friday and Saturday and until 4 on Sunday afternoon. Caroline led students step by step through the entire process of selecting their archetypes and casting a Chart of Origin. Peter Occhiogrosso showed students how to use journaling to further explore the influence of archetypes in their lives. And Jim Curtan explicated the archetypal imagery in two recent popular movies. Joined by Peter & Gail Shaw, who has taught with Caroline in Australia, Peter, Jim, and the entire staff worked individually with members both during and between sessions. The intensive hands-on approach led many students to say that the weekend brought them to higher levels of personal insight than they had ever experienced with Caroline in the past.

Calendar of Events
June 2003 - Seven Ways You Sabotage Your Enlightenment
Omega Event
Boston, MA
June 7
800-944-1001

June 2003 - The Call to Live a Symbolic Life
The Conference Works
June 13-14, 2003
Orlando, Fl
800-395-8445

June 2003 - CMED Institute
June 20, 2003
Hyatt Oakbrook IL.
Workshop II: Advanced Sacred Contracts