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'Oxygen TV' live questions to Caroline 2/1/02

Enlightenment Isn't Easy

Oxygen: Caroline, we're thrilled to have you here tonight, especially with your busy schedule! How has the book tour been going?

Caroline Myss: Please! Exhausting! It's one of the most exhausting things I've ever done. The airports are horrible. It's like we are in the military. I can't believe we are reduced to taking off our shoes and loosening our belts. 80-year-old men are reduced to this. I cried the whole day due to this. I cannot believe what has happened to our country. And we can never, ever go home again. I'm ready for questions though...so let's begin.

jennifer o: Caroline, what's the easiest way to identify our archetypes?

CM: Why do you want an easy way to get to know yourself? Why would that be your choice?

jennifer o: Well, I guess, sometimes I think I'm all of them, lol!

CM: It is more important to seek out the richest path of self-discovery and not the easiest. Nobody wants an easy spiritual life. It's not worth it.

jennifer o: True, true.

CM: Easy is so Western and American: 'Just make it fast and easy.' I really did elaborate at great length in my book. So I have to direct you to read Sacred Contracts. I'd rather you take the rich path instead of the easy one. I'll give you the first direction, and that's this: You must make a commitment to understand the symbolic meaning of your life, which means you have to learn to interpret the symbols that exist within the orbit of your life.

Jennifer, it's very, very, very frequent that a person relates to many archetypes. Because you do have every type at work somewhere within your psyche, you are looking for the dominant ones. You find those by self-observation, knowing which questions to ask yourself, and by knowing how to approach the process of interpretation of events in your life.

ecksunbeam: Processing the interpretation is not easy -- can't see the forest thru the trees.

CM: That's right, eksun... But again, to get to know yourself is not easy. Why should it be? Why are you disappointed that it's not easy?

jennifer o: Sometimes I think I've got it, then other times, it's elusive.

CM: Of course it's not easy. Buddha didn't sit under a tree for who-knows-how-long because enlightenment was easy.

The Search for Self

susangail: With understanding your life process, can you still find things hidden?

CM: Oh, all the time Susan...because your life process is ongoing. It's not just, 'You find it and that's it, forever.' You process your life forever. Don't think you will come to a point where there is an end to this search. Self-examination goes on as long as you are a self. So long as you have relationships, you'll have self-discovery. Every morning brings an experience you didn't have yesterday.

Jennifer, that's was so wonderful, [what you said earlier] about interpretations. They are fluid. You get more from them every time. Just like an astrological sign. A moon in Gemini has many meanings: It's always within the certain parameter of the meaning of Gemini. Similarly you can have an archetype as the hermit that has a constant maturation, demands at different stages of your life, and different lenses through which to understand yourself.

Often, people think the hermit means you need time alone. But not always. Sometimes it means the hermit in you seeks out people who know how to create quality inner time. Don't ever make the mistake of applying a simple definition to these archetypes. Some of the most extroverted people I know have the hermit archetype, and it's just one part of their psyche. I have the creative hermit, and I'm very extroverted. You can have multiple aspects to your nature.

Universal Religion

wakingthewitch: Caroline, I am a pagan (Wiccan) by belief. Would you have things in your book(s) that I could benefit from with my belief system?

CM: Yes. Waking archetypes are the universal language of the soul. They transcend any religion, anymore than you can say I'm pagan, Christian, etc. The moon is the moon for everyone. This is about something more universal.

susangail: I feel it's more science... more concrete.

CM: Religion, even pagan, you can see as something that divides you from others. The language of the soul does not divide, it unites.

wakingthewitch: True, I feel a real separation from Christians.

CM: I think you could see why they call it 'metaphysical science.' Science means it's eternally ordered. No matter if it deals with mathematics...it's math. The constant of God.

Self-Esteem Is Always the Core

msmartip: Just saw the tail end of your show tonight, but it still really grabbed my attention. What would you recommend as far as reading for a 36-year-old who is just now 'waking up to grow up' and be on her own for the first time? I'm a mess all over -- spiritually, financially, emotionally, physically.

CM: mrmartip.. was this the money [program]? I'm on tour and I'm not sure which one you saw today. I'm sorry.

msmartip: Yes, where money isn't really the issue. Self-esteem is generally the core.

CM: It's always self-esteem. The absence of self-esteem could be considered the fundamental curse of the human experience. What's true is no one is born with self-esteem. It is a process of empowerment. The development of self-esteem is another way of describing the true focus of a spiritual path. Because self-esteem represents self-respect, integrity, the strength not to compromise one's spirit, power, the ability to follow one's internal guidance without fearing rejection by others. This is just the beginning of what self-esteem is all about.

susangail: Caroline, I let no opportunity to help empower anyone in my path go by without a positive effort on my part. You cannot help anyone until you can help yourself.

CM: Without this respect for yourself, it is impossible to fulfill your highest potential in anything because you are too controlled by the opinions of others and by the choices that they make for your life. That's beautiful, susangail.

susangail: Thank you, Caroline.

msmartip: Well, like you told the woman that asked about following a budget, easier said then truly done.

Heart and Mind

CM: What you also need to hold in your mind's eye and in your heart -- and this is a challenge -- is that you must also not be attached to the outcome of your actions in the sense that you want certain things specifically to happen. It's important for us to remind ourselves that we really don't know what's in our best interest all the time. The important thing is follow and respond to opportunities with empowerment and then trust that the best thing will happen for us. But don't assume that you know what the best thing is.

ironhorse1974: The heart leads better than the mind, right?

CM: ironhorse...no. Heart and mind are not enemies. They are companions. The heart without the mind is a weak instrument, and the mind without the heart is cold. A clear mind recognizes that unless the heart supports the choice of the mind, no success can ever happen -- nor any happiness.

ecksunbeam: The mind without the heart is psychopathic.

CM: And the heart without the mind is easily seduced. You could use that word, ecksunbeam.

ironhorse1974: Thanks for pointing that out, Caroline. I have to process that.

che': Don't know where I am going or want to go...

CM: Che'...what you want to establish is an intuitive resonance. It's a comfort zone with your intuitive abilities -- you recognize that the heart and mind are in constant dialogue.

che': I just want to live my life for me.

CM: They are never NOT in dialogue.

che': I'm tired of living it for everyone else.

Finding Your Own Path...and Following It

azchichie1951: I feel like I'm in limbo. I don't know what direction to take, or even what my choices are.

CM: AZ, this is what's true: When most people say that to me, what they are really saying is, 'I'm afraid, so what I want is a guarantee of an outcome for any decisions that I make. I fear the unknown. And I want to know before I even leave the house what my next home is going to look like. I'm not willing to risk and discover whether I've got what it takes to face life and take direction step by step. I want the whole thing laid out, and until that happens I will say I don't know what to do.'

azchichie1951: I have passion for what I want, but I don't know how to get there.

CM: I always tell people if that's how you feel, then make ONE change in your life. But make it consistent. Now, let me give you an idea. Start working out, for example. Develop a routine that builds your self-esteem. If you don't know what to do, then perhaps you should focus on your self-esteem. So this way, when the inspiration comes, you are strong enough to follow it. AZ, what do you want? Describe it.

azchichie1951: I know I am a healer. Where do I go from here?

CM: AZ, what is it you want me to tell you? Are you looking for a direction that says, 'Go to the south side of Chicago ?' Are you looking for me to tell you who to contact? What do you need to know to get on with your life as a healer?

azchichie1951: How???

CM: How what? You're not answering anything I'm asking you. HOW WHAT? What is it exactly you need? What are you asking?

azchichie1951: How do I get started in healing?

CM: What do you mean by HOW? What should you do? Who should you call?

azchichie1951: What should I do? How do I do it?

CM: Pick a direction. Go to school. Learn an art. Study. Stop being so helpless -- you'll never get anywhere, and I wouldn't have a helpless healer work on me.

azchichie1951: Just go out and say to someone, 'I'm going to heal you?'

CM: It's everybody's responsibility to act upon what they are supposed to do. Think you have a gift for healing? Then take a direction and go. Knock it off with this, 'Help me, Mommy. Tell me what to do.'

azchichie1951: I am going to a class next week.

CM: AZ -- there you go! Step one. Now let's see if you've got what it takes to stick with it. Check in! AZ, we'll do some ongoing direction here. If you are really this sure, then do it. Have the backbone to do it.

Internal Conflict

lap32: If my head does something, my heart is behind it, in your opinion?

CM: Lap, do you know anything about the meaning of internal conflict? If so, describe one event of internal conflict in your life.

lap32: Okay, I'll try.

heartsmiles: I am blocking my own success and have done so for many years. Could this be something left over from a past life? How do I get past the blocks?

CM: Never mind the past life garbage. You have enough trouble with this one. Generally, when people feel blocked, it's because they are looking for life insurance -- spiritual life insurance.

heartsmiles: You mean I specifically have enough trouble with this life, or is that a general answer?

CM: And they keep looking for the great big huge guidance. You'll succeed. Here. It's a general answer. What difference would it make?

heartsmiles: Are you saying that I will succeed? Am I as blocked as I think I am?

CM: Where would it help you to find out you had difficulty in your past life? I want an answer.

heartsmiles: The difference on the specific and general answer is that I guess I need the life insurance you are speaking of.

CM: And another thing: Life is not one of those 'answer for every mystery' situations. It doesn't work like that. Or do you know someone for whom it has? If you do, I'll take their workshop.

heartsmiles: You are right. The past life stuff wouldn't make a difference. I'm just trying to understand why I'm so very blocked.

Past Lives?

CM: It's a journey of wonderment.

heartsmiles: Well, I certainly wonder a lot. How do I get to action from wonder?

CM: What good would it do to find out that the reason you have trouble making a decision today is because of something that happened 400 years ago? Where's the benefit? Stop looking for something blocking you and do something productive. Pick anything, heartsmiles. What is just ONE thing you would change about yourself that you could do instantly, NOW? I want your answer, heartsmiles!

heartsmiles: I'd finish editing the television show I taped.

CM: Well, then do it! What about something personal? That's not good enough.

heartsmiles: Personal? I guess it would be to figure out how to scrape together enough money to keep living in this city. OK. I'll find something that appeals to me.

che': How can I make a life choice when I can't make up my mind on what to do first -- wash dishes or sweep the floor?

CM: You have to make a choice and run with it, che. It's a matter of DISCIPLINE! Let's stick with the issue: willpower, consistency, congruency, heart. Sometimes whether or not you realize it, you are surrounded by opportunities. You only look for what appeals to you.

che': I know I have problems with choices. They may not be correct, and I wouldn't want to make a mistake.

CM: I need to get going and I just LOVE doing this, and I'd love to do this again.

susangail: Nice to get to speak with you.

che': Ditto for me.

Oxygen: Thanks so much, Caroline, I know how busy and exhausted you must be.

barbeq: Thanks, Caroline!!!

ireneteresa: Thank you, Caroline.

heartsmiles: Many thanks to you, Caroline.

jennifer o: Thoroughly enjoyed it Caroline, Hope you come back.

CM: Good night.