I first and foremost want to thank all of you for the outpouring of warm and gracious responses to my accident story. It occurred to me, as I was reading each of the many personal stories that were shared along with all the thoughtful notes, that it was not my intention to initiate a love fest for myself. I will admit that I felt somewhat embarrassed by that. So I thank you all so very much for your kindness. It's so odd how a huge wave of appreciation like that can make a person - namely me - want to run and hide, but it does. Who knows why we have the quirks we do? This accident incident, like other "out of the blue" events that bring us far too close to the last chapter of our life or crushing part of our body, which would change the remaining years of our life forever, set into motion thoughts we had not anticipated thinking about. That is definitely true. Once again, I am filled with gratitude that no one was hurt. I realized how fragile I am - I don't know that I could survive having hurt another person. I really do not think I could survive that. And I find I now have such a deep sense of something compassionate brewing in me that wasn't there before. This sensation doesn't have a target or a name, but it's there.
If I wasn't already steeped in reading sacred literature in preparation for my class on Wednesday night on, How Truth Pursues You, I would be reading it any way because it's soul comfort food for me when I have a download of questions and mysteries that arrive unexpectedly into my soul, as just happened. Timing is everything - especially Divine timing and I cannot stop myself from examining my own experiences and inner questions within the context of what I am about to teach. So I am asking myself if a Truth is emerging into my life at present, trying to reshape my focus, my soul, my perspective. How do I allow that Truth to reveal itself to me?
Why would I credit an accident with a means through which Truth is attempting to make its way into my world? Well, think about this for a moment. What motivates you to change your life - I mean really change something and not just talk about changing something. Most often it takes a collision with something or someone or with a situation that forces you to shift the course you are on. Though we frequently - very frequently - receive intuitive rumblings that we need to make wiser or more reflective choices about something, we rarely pause to actually take the time to reflect on those inner rumblings to allow for "intuitive revelation" to make itself known. That is somewhat of a slow inner and contemplative process that collides with the nature of our times, which is our passion to have everything known and done and decided in the "immediate here and now." In my humble - and perhaps not-so-humble opinion - our impatience with taking the time to make decisions through doing inner reflection leads to decisions we either make in haste or regret. And regrets make us want to blame someone. And so the cycle goes.
St Benedict schooled his monks and priests in such wisdom. He said that a person should take all the time he needed to come to a decision. Read all that you needed to read for inspiration. Speak to you Spiritual Director as much as you need. Pray for guidance. And then make your decision. Then live your decision fully without question. Do not look back. Only move forward for it is in the questioning of your decision and in the looking back that you initiate profound suffering.
I am in the first stages of this process. I am reading for myself and for my upcoming class. How does Truth speak to us? How does it pursue us? And why oh why do we need to get hit on the head - literally - to get us to stop and listen at our own inner Well once again.
Thank you, everyone, again for all your loving thoughts and the time you took to share your own stories. I appreciated every one of them.
Perhaps you'll join me on Wednesday night for, How Truth Pursues You. Obviously I am bursting at the seams with content. Ha.
Six On-Line Seminars
Weekly, July 22 ~ August 26