Update Your Goals, Habits and Attitudes

From Caroline’s 2006 Salon

The other day I was talking to a stock broker at a workshop – no kidding – and he was running down a list of investments. I was pressing him on the matter of investments because of the rather volatile nature of the planet these days…not to mention Washington, DC. So I asked him, “What would you recommend as shrewd investments these days?”

He listed these investments that would mature in 20 years, to which I said, “Sweetie, that’s what you suggest to a couple of newly weds, not to someone my age.”

Our life goals need to change, as do our habits and our attitudes about what we want from life and perhaps more importantly now, what we want to contribute to life. Last year, I had a bit of an epiphany during one workshop and I’ve shared that experience with my audiences ever since that day. Without exception, audiences all over the place breathe a collective sigh of relief when I bring up this matter, as if someone had finally released them from being held in a “fantasy captivity”, prisoners to a perception that they must “do” something or live a life other than the one they are living in order to be happy. What happened during this one very special workshop was that I suddenly, deeply, truly “saw” my audience in a way I had never seen them before and I realized in that moment the folly of what I was teaching. Building self-esteem, etc., is hardly a folly, however, part two of that lecture – which was directing them to “apply” their new found self-esteem toward building a brand new life “somewhere out there” for themselves was completely a folly. This formula of developing self-esteem and then making choices that reflect a higher potential in one’s life, is not at all without substance. But it certainly wasn’t working, at least not as well as it should. And then I realized that the problem was that most people had bought into visions they would never, ever be able to accomplish in this life – not because they couldn’t, but because they were not meant to accomplish these visions.

The idea of finding your “highest potential” inspired hundreds of thousands of people to consider that there is another life contained within or around or above the life they’ve been living that holds their “highest potential”; they just have to find a way to get there. Unfortunately, the more practical, occupational side of our nature hijacked the meaning of “highest potential” and it quickly became synonymous with the “perfect occupation by Divine decree” – a mythic occupation and a mythic life, if there ever was one. Thus, one’s highest potential became more and more a true holy grail….no where to be found. But the deeper meaning of highest potential refers to your Sacred Contracts and how consciously you position your soul in your life.

During this particular workshop, I realized that much of the frustration and unhappiness that I continued to witness in people was due to they’re feeling so much disappointment in their own lives and that they are failing their highest potential by not being able to somehow run away. I said to this audience, “I just had a realization. Look around the room at each other. The likelihood that the majority of you are going to leave your lives or your partners or return to school or take your savings and start a new business is zero. You are not going to leave your life at all. What you really need is to find a way to release the highest potential of the life you have right now and re-discover the highest potential to be found in the relationships you have with the people with whom you are sharing this life.”

To say that floodgates of relief and tears opened up on that day is a masterpiece of understatement. Many mysteries about why people sabotage themselves in terms of their intuitive abilities and life choices became very clear to me as I listened to people admit with great relief, “That’s right, I don’t want to leave my life. I want to make my life work right here.”

Several people told me that they developed what they realized was the habit of being discontent and disappointed in their lives because without being discontent, they were afraid they wouldn’t “move forward spirituality.” Said one woman, “I was afraid I would get too comfortable so I had to stay discontent with my life. I looked for things and people to disappointment. It’s too outrageous a thought for me to believe that I could actually be living the life I want to have.”

What occurred in that workshop was a massive influx of common sense and wisdom that resulted in the members of the audience cracking out of perceptions that were hideously painful and completely useless. People felt the freedom to say that wanted exactly the life they had, great, little, humble, or rich – and they had no intention of going anywhere else. And it felt just right.

It was a remarkable workshop worthy of a short-story, actually…maybe I’ll write it up in all its details and call it, “One Particular Workshop” – because it changed my life and certainly theirs. And from that, I realize all too well that goals, habits, and personal attitudes need to be updated like computer programs and stock portfolios. When I think about handing that workshop last month’s survey, I wonder how people would respond after they had an opportunity to shed the burden of fantasy goals that do not belong to their Sacred Contract. I wonder if many people would be far more appreciative of the fullness of their present day lives, no longer finding it necessary to dwell in the past or fantasize about the future and things they know they hope to do but…

SOMETHING FOR YOU TO THINK ABOUT…

Think about your goals, your thoughts, and how you talk to yourself. Do any of your ideas or goals need updating because “they aren’t really you”? I can tell you that if you are living a dream that is not your dream, it can hurt you deeply and cause such unnecessary discontentment. To wake up and realize that you are exactly where you are supposed to be and then make a commitment to make your life work to its fullest…that could be the greatest gift you could ever give yourself. But that conversation is between you and God….I only suggest that you have that conversation. It is well worth it.

Love,
Caroline